Rembrandt van Rijn, Dutch
“Oh, Hello There. You’re Probably Searching For Taylor Swift’s ‘Tortured Poets Department.’ This Is a Tortured Poet’s A-partment. Now If You Don’t Mind, I’m Trying To Finish This Stupid Stanza,” 1631
Oil on canvas
Rembrandt van Rijn, Dutch
“Oh, Hello There. You’re Probably Searching For Taylor Swift’s ‘Tortured Poets Department.’ This Is a Tortured Poet’s A-partment. Now If You Don’t Mind, I’m Trying To Finish This Stupid Stanza,” 1631
Oil on canvas
Gilbert Stuart, American
The Right Honorable William Brownlow, With the Paper Hat He Wears at His Fry Cook Job, ca. 1790
Oil on canvas
Winslow Homer, American
“But Soft, What Light Through That There Yonder Window Is Fixin’ To Break? It Is the East, and Amber-Lynn Is the Sun, I Reckon,” 1874
Watercolor, gouache, and graphite on wove paper
Ettore Forti, Italian
“The Great Thing About This Piece Is Its Versatility. Displayed Like So, It’s Purely Ornamental. Orrr…You Can Take Off the Top and Use It As a Toilet Paper Holder,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas
Hendrick ter Brugghen, Dutch
Can You Solve Today’s “Priceless Puzzle?” We’re Looking For a Common Phrase (ANSWER BELOW), 1629
Oil on panel
(ANSWER: “A Good Night’s Sleep”)
Albert Edelfelt, Finnish
“Okay Stu, I Know You’ve Been Standing There For Hours. If You’d Like To Break For Lunch, Raise Your Right Buttock,” 1874
Oil on canvas
Julius LeBlanc Stewart, American
Five Friends Playing That Game Where You Try To Be the Last To Vomit, 1890
Oil on canvas
Alfred W. Elmore, Irish
“Tell Me If I’m Wrong, But I’m Going To Take This Minute of Awkward Silence As a ‘No,'” 1860
Oil on canvas
José María Obregón, Mexican
“We Offer These Gifts in Humble Tribute, Your Imperial Highness. But If You’d Rather Have Cash, We Could Always Just Venmo You,” 1869
Oil on canvas
Marguerite Gérard, French
“It’s From Mr. Darcy. He Wants To Connect on LinkedIn,” 1808
Oil on canvas