THAT IS PRICELESS

François Clouet, French

Well, This Was Awkward. Due To an Apparent Typo, After Testifying Against the Mob, Brenda Was Put in the Wet Nurse Protection Program, ca. 1571

Oil on canvas

Andrea Soldi, Italian

“Why Yes, It IS a Self-Portrait. Why Does Everyone Laugh When I Say That?,” 1753

Oil on canvas

Ángel Zárraga, Mexican

Ballerina Rehearsing Her Part in “The Nudecracker,” 1907

Oil on canvas

Paul Charles Chocarne-Moreau, French

“Nice Try, But I Know This Scam. You Pretend I Caused Your Accident and Then Sue Me For All My Dough,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Józef Simmler, Russian-Polish

“Okay, Now Let’s Try a Pose Where You’re Stretching Before the Clothing-Optional Heat of the Ironman Triathlon,” ca. 1841-42

Oil on panel

Suzanne Valadon, French

When You Said You Knew a Smokin’ Model I Could Paint, This Isn’t What I Thought You Meant, 1923

Oil on canvas

Almeida Junior, Brazilian

“What Would You Rather Hear? Some Johann Se-Boobs-Tian Bach or Rack-Maninoff?,” 1882

Oil on canvas

Circle of Ambrosius Holbein, German

Ptolemy Accepting the Golden Globe For Best Treatise — Astronomy or Mathematics, ca. 1494-1519

Oil on canvas

John Trumbull, American

Self-Portrait After Four Cups of Espresso, 1793

Oil on canvas