THAT IS PRICELESS

Léon Bonnat, French

Hoping To Avoid a Repeat of His Embarrassing Incident, at This Year’s Students Vs. Teachers Soccer Game, Professor Huntington Made Sure To Take Precautions During the Penalty Kicks, 1883

Oil on canvas

Thomas Gainsborough, British

British General Getting Participation Trophy For Revolutionary War, ca. 1784-5

Oil on canvas

Angiolo Tommasi, Italian

As She Wrung Out the Last of Her Family’s Underwear, Jocelyn Made a Mental Note Never To Get Takeout From Taco Bell Again, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Daniel Ridgway Knight, American

“Last Week, Jay and I Went Apple-Picking. Or As the Security Guard at the Apple Store Called It: ‘Shoplifting,'” ca. 1888

Oil on canvas

Johann August Nahl the Younger, German

“Hold Up. Matt Damon Plays Me in the Movie? But I’m Greek! Am I To Assume From That That Stamos Passed?,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Victor Schivert, Romanian

Woman Who Can’t Stop Admiring Her Own Figure, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

George Hillyard Swinstead, English

“You Know, Hide-and-Seek Is Really Not All That Much Fun For Us Dogs. I Could Smell You Three Rooms Away, Dumbass,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Pierre Olivier Joseph Coomans, Belgian

“Okay, So We’re Probably Not Going To See Your Overalls Again Until Hector Poops. But in the Meantime, Now You Know: THIS Is the Sort of Thing You’re SUPPOSED To Feed a Pet Turtle,” 1865

Oil on canvas