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Joseph Bail, French
“It Was Raining Cats and Dogs and Our Roof Has a Leak, So I Put Down a Towel…and Voilà !,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas

Bartolomeo Manfredi, Italian
“I See You Marrying a Beautiful Woman and Becoming Rich and Famous. But Then I Had Chalamet Winning Best Actor, So…,” ca. 1616-17
Oil on canvas

Adriaen van Ostade, Dutch
For This Year’s Oscars, Glenda Made the Questionable Decision To Drink Every Time Someone Said the Word “Thank,” ca. 1670
Oil on panel

Józef Simmler, Russian-Polish
“Great. Now Let’s Try a Pose Where You’re Stretching Before the Clothing-Optional Heat of the Ironman Triathlon,” 1841-42
Oil on panel

Gerard van Honthorst, Dutch
“Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture” (Page 417), 1647
Oil on canvas

Joseph Paelinck, Belgian
“Okay, Who’s the Wise Guy Who Stole My Charging Cord? I’m Down to 3%,” 1819
Oil on canvas

Arthur Trevor Haddon, British
“Dude, Relax. Nobody‘s Staring at Your Wife’s Ass,” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas

Arthur Trevor Haddon, British
“That Guy I Went Out With Last Night? On His Profile, He Calls Himself a ‘Maritime Navigational Engineer.’ Turns Out That’s Code For ‘Gondolier,'” Date Unknown
Oil on canvas