Auguste Toulmouche, French
“Good Afternoon, Milady. I Brought You Your — Oh, Excuse Me! I Thought You Cheated on Your Husband Every OTHER Thursday,” 1894
Oil on canvas
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/// Eugénie is An Elegant Lady,
whose face shows that she sees something shady.
She’s a mere four-foot-four,
and she peers through her door
at a leprechaun, Séamus O’Grady.
/// She’d been crying because she’s so small,
and was wishing she’d somehow grow tall.
She’s half-Irish, and so
learned the lore one must know
to make magic folk come when you call.
/// She is wary, for wee folk play tricks,
so takes care with the wish that she picks.
Asks to get increased height—
not too tall (she’d cause fright).
The next day she woke up four-foot-six.
/// Eugénie might have been more specific,
but two inches, to her, felt terrific.
She’d be far more off-put
had she asked for a foot
and awoke with a THIRD one… horrific!
/// Here’s the reason her petticoats rustle.
There’s a boy in there under her bustle.
He had paid her to sneak
underneath for a peek,
but it’s dark— he’s been scammed by a hustle.