THAT IS PRICELESS

Anatolio Scifoni, Italian

“Ugh. Caesar’s Side-Piece Cleopatra Used Up All the Hot Water Again,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Nicasius Bernaerts, Flemish

“Before We Start, Would You Prefer I Kept the Shell On, or Did You Want Me To Pose Nude?,” Between 1643-78

Oil on canvas

Edward Hopper, American

“Congratulations, Sir. According To My Files, That Was Your 311th Inappropriate Comment About My Work Outfits — A New Branch Record!,” 1940

Oil on canvas

Kazimierz Alchimowicz, Russian-Polish

Looks Like Another Pulled Hamstring For Gary, the Aging Porn Star Who Insists on Doing His Own Stunts, 1873

Oil on canvas

Eugène Jansson, Swedish

“Trent, You’re a Waiter. Literally Your Only Skill Is Balancing a Tray of Margaritas. How Is That Going To Get You Another Job?”

Trent:

1913-14

Oil on canvas

Bogdan Pavlovich Villevalde, Russian

For the Russian Army, the Napoleonic Wars Were Marked By Long Stretches of Fighting Broken Up By a Few Games of Pictionary, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Elisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun, French

Yikes. Piper Definitely Wasn’t 3 Years Old Anymore. But It Was Nothing a Little Botox and Juvéderm Couldn’t Handle, 1787

Oil on canvas

Constantin Hansen, Danish

The One Drawback To Bart’s Cool New Pipe Was He Could Only Smoke It in 4-Inch Heels, 1837

Oil on canvas

Christian Krohg, Norwegian

“Land Ho! Ha Ha, Made You Look. I Can’t Believe You Guys Keep Falling For That One,” 1893

Oil on canvas