THAT IS PRICELESS

Hans Hassenteufel, German

Despite Having Used Melissa As a Model For Years, the Artist Only Knew Her As “Lefty,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

Can You Believe That Beautiful Statue Hooked Up With That Sculptor Guy? She Must’ve Been Pretty Hammered, 1890

Oil on canvas

Woutherus Mol, Dutch

“Look, I Wasn’t Going To Say Anything, But Since You Asked…Yes, I Think You MAY Have Gotten Ripped Off on Those Breast Implants,” 1808

Oil on canvas

Auguste Levêque, Belgian

“Man, This Stuff Is Scratchy. The Next Time We Go For a Roll in the Hay, Let’s Bring a Tarp,” 1918

Oil on canvas

Ferdinand Bol, Dutch

“Don’t Just Stand There, Gentlemen. I Paid You To Strip. Now, Strip!,” ca. 1640-45

Oil on canvas

Joseph Wright of Derby, English

You Had To Admit It Was a Pretty Good April Fool’s Prank. When Marlon Discovered It After a Haircut Years Later, He Would Have No Idea How He Got the Tattoo, ca. 1784

Oil on canvas

Carl Larsson, Swedish

It Was the Opinion of Many Who Knew Her That Caroline Had a Stick Up Her A**. And at This Particular Moment, They Weren’t Wrong, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Josef Kinzel, Austrian

“Brace Yourself, Darling. This One’s a Real Panty Dropper,” 1896

Oil on panel

Franz von Stuck, German

Spring Breakers, Greece 2500 B.C., 1918

Oil on canvas

Josef Kinzel, Austrian

“Orrrr…We Could Talk About Something OTHER Than the NCAA Basketball Tournament,” 1900

Oil on canvas