THAT IS PRICELESS

Joseph Alanen, Finnish

When Georgia O’Keeffe Got Gum in Her Hair, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Henri-Pierre Danioux, French

Art Thief Posing For Her LinkedIn Profile Photo, 1792

Oil on canvas

Marguerite Gérard, French

“According To Your Husband’s Letter, He Was Currently Sailing Right Around Here, Off the Coast of Morocco. Taking Into Consideration the Tides and the Prevailing Winds This Time of Year, We Can Calculate His Return Within a Fortnight. Or You Can Just Check His Location on Your Phone,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Gerard ter Borch, Dutch

“My Apologies For Buster Sniffing at Your Crotch. He’s Part Wiener Dog,” ca. 1658-59

Oil on canvas

Eugene de Blaas, Italian

What Kids Used Their Thumbs For Before Texting, 1883

Oil on cradled panel

Édouard Manet, French

“No, I’m Actually Not the Monopoly Guy, But I Get That a Lot,” 1880

Oil on canvas

Eugen Felix, Austrian

If “Succession” Was On Nickelodeon, 1892

Oil on canvas

Nils Dardel, Swedish

“I Hear You, and I Don’t Doubt That You Could Knock Down Those Pins By Throwing Your Feces, But in Bowling, You Have To Roll the Ball,” 1922

Oil on canvas

Halfdan Egedius, Norwegian

“Yes, I Understand That It’s Occasionally Necessary To Disrobe When You Go To the Doctor. But in My Experience, Usually Not at the Optometrist,” 1896

Oil on canvas