Author: Steve Melcher

Theodoor Rombouts, Flemish

“Talk To the Hand! Get It? The ‘Hand’? Wow, Tough Crowd,” Between 1616 and 1637

Oil on canvas

After Benjamin West, American

Attempting To Cover the Hickey He Got From Betsy Ross, ca. 1776

Oil on canvas

Friedrich Friedländer, Austrian

“Just In Case Trump Wins, Let Me Show You How To Turn Back the Clock on Women’s Reproductive Rights,” Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Marie-François Firmin-Girard, French

“Not To Brag, But the Same Designer Who Made This Outfit Did the Stage Costumes For ABBA,” 1874

Oil on canvas

Cornelis Dusart, Dutch

“Trick or Teat! Oops, I Meant ‘TREAT.’ I Have No Idea Where That Came From. Nice Pumpkins, By the Way. On Your Front Porch, I Mean! Okay, I Think I’ll Just Leave Now,” 1690

Oil on panel

Artist Unknown, English School

“Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture” (Collectible Maritime Edition!), Date Unknown

Color print

G.F. Gilman, American

The Marlboro Man, Back When He Was Known As the Marlboro Douchebag, 1875

Illustration

Hugo Kauffmann, German

“Wow, That Hat Is Fantastic on You. Why Don’t You Go Put on Your Wedding Dress So We Can See How They Look Together,” 1910

Oil on panel

Eugene de Blaas, Italian

“Congratulations, Girl!!! I KNEW They Were Going To Promote You To Socks and Underwear. Give Me 5 Minutes To Get the Rest of the Lice Out of These Pillowcases and Let’s Go Grab a Drink,” 1904

Oil on panel