Author: Steve Melcher

Wacław Szymanowski, Russian-Polish

On This Day in History, 1874: The First Use of the Phrase “Say It Don’t Spray It,” 1888

Oil on canvas

Franz von Stuck, German

The Hot Gift For the Holidays:  The She-Saw™, 1898

Syntonos paint on canvas

Josef Kinzel, Austrian

For Don, the Best Thing About Growing Potatoes Was That Whenever He Got Bored, He Could Practice His Golf Swing, 1902

Oil on canvas

Petrus van Schendel, Dutch-Belgian

Every Year, Alyssa Liked To Get Her Holiday Shopping Done Early (at 4:30AM To Be Exact), 1840

Oil on panel

Arnold Böcklin, Swiss

“I Don’t See the Problem. You Said When I Proposed, You Wanted a Nice Rock. Well…Ta Daaaaa!,” ca. 1875-76

Tempera on wood

After Franz von Matsch, Austrian

“All in Favor of Getting Someone OTHER Than Lady Gaga To Design Our Helmets Next Time, Say Aye,” 1908

Color print

Jean-Bruno Gassies, French

“I’ve Managed To Get Hold of Mark Anthony’s Christmas List, Augustus. He’s Asking for an XBox, a Panini Press, and Something Called a ‘Sex Swing’? Oh, and Dominion Over the Known World,” 1814

Oil on canvas

Raimundo de Madrazo y Garreta, Spanish-Italian

“Um, No, You Can’t Have Pictures of My Feet. How Did You Get in Here?,” ca. 1870

Oil on canvas

Ernest-Ange Duez, French

For Estelle, Black Friday Was Traditionally Followed By “Do I Really Know 5 Different People Who’d Want a Rowing Machine?” Saturday, 1891

Oil on panel