Ludwig von Hofmann, German
“Three Wishes? Okay, Let’s See. My First Wish Is For a Million Dollars. My Second Wish Is World Peace. And My Third Wish Is That You Untie Me and Give Me and the Other Park Ranger Our Clothes Back,” ca. 1900
Pastel over pencil on wove paper
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Info about this artist can be found in my comment at another blog entry.
/// “I’m a frog with the mind of a Prince,”
he croaked out to the girl to convince
her to give him a kiss.
“You’ll be glad you did, Miss.
Would it help if I chewed a few mints?”
/// “Every girl that I talk to denies
my request for a kiss; no surprise.
I’m a wart-covered frog
caked with mud from a bog
and my breath smells of bluebottle flies.”
/// “But that kiss could change both of our lives,
so I’ll hop to where wild mint leaf thrives
and I’ll swallow a bunch
to mask my insect lunch,
even though eating mint gives me hives.”
/// She’s a Princess. The reason she’s nude
is she hoped for a brief interlude
with that hot naked dude
whom she saw and pursued
‘til this slimy frog dared to intrude.
/// The bare man she’d just met by this pond
had some qualities of which she’s fond.
He was handsome and tall
and did not speak at all,
but in other ways, he could respond.
/// She’d impulsively started to strip,
called out, “Join me and let’s take a dip.”
The man smiled and reclined
on his taut, tanned behind.
Then that frog started flapping his lip!
/// To be seen in that stranger’s embrace
would most certainly lead to disgrace,
but with no one around
she thought they’d not be found.
Did this talking frog make her lose face?
/// “You should know that I’m not what you see,”
said the frog as she leaned on a tree.
“I insulted a witch,
and she made two minds switch.
That guy there, with a frog’s brain, is me!”
/// The poor Princess was now on the spot.
The tall Man-frog was silent and hot,
while the Frog-man was squat
and annoyed her a lot.
Should she kiss him to switch them… or not?
/// After Adam reclined for a snooze,
the Frog came up to Eve with some news.
“The Snake asked me to say
if you meet him today
he’s got offers you cannot refuse.”
/// When an artist’s close-up vision fails
he is bound to leave out some details.
For nudes, we’d prefer he
not make ‘em so blurry;
we can barely tell females from males.