Ludwig von Hofmann, German
“Spider in the Shower! Spider in the Shower!,” 1890
Pastel on creme laid paper
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MASTERPIECE #3081
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here (Google translated, click NDB), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page may have more).
/// Sal, the Dancer with Veil, has zilch on.
Seven veils at the start; six are gone.
Kept that veil to keep covered
what’s beneath where it hovered.
It’s her tramp-stamp of the Baptist, John.
// Salomé has a goal. It’s to please
step-dad Herod, by doing this tease.
Her jugs jiggle, and with ‘em
she obscures lack of rhythm.
Self-display is her one expertise.
/// Since Sal’s mother’s and King Herod’s wedding,
He showed signs he wished Sal shared his bedding.
So she danced round his throne.
If she threw him this bone,
he’d give her what she asked— a beheading.
/// Some saw Salomé dance, and they noted,
she seemed clumsy— her veils were what floated.
To her critics she said,
“I just recently fed,
and I feel kind of sluggish and bloated.”
/// When it comes to the strip-teasing arts,
and the winning of pedophile hearts,
Sal knew King Herod’s glance
wasn’t fixed on her dance.
The whole’s lesser than some of her parts.
/// “When you cried out all soapy and bare,
I went looking. There’s no spider there.
When you shower, no doubt,
contact lenses are out.
In the drain’s clumped short curly black hair.”
> or <
/// As a nun she is destined to fail.
She still longs for the touch of a male.
Seen here out of the habit,
(and displaying her flab), it
ain’t how godly girls “take the veil.”