Otto Henry Bacher, American
Lady Mary Hollander, Still Pissed About That Questionable Line Call in the Second Set, 1891
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// For Impressionists, critics now rave,
earning kudos that all artists crave.
Mary Holland, his wife,
causes Otto some strife.
At least, that’s the impression she gave.
/// Mary’s outfit for tennis is lace.
It has ruffles all over the place,
(that’s including the hat).
Far too warm, Mary sat—
and ensured her opponent an ace.
/// In this tennis dress Mary can’t run.
Not returning a serve isn’t fun.
Her wood racket will slip
due to Mary’s poor grip,
but her ball toss is second to none.
/// What explains Mary’s displeased demeanor?
She looked bothered each time we had seen her.
In fact, she seemed keener
to come across meaner.
Says, “The other grass court’s always greener.”
/// At the U.S.A./British arena
English players agreed to convene a
small committee to study
where the Yanks get those bloody
skimpy outfits; just look at Serena.
/// This new strategy’s more than a whim.
Daring duds are distracting to him
when girls play with a guy.
There’s a good reason why.
Men can’t think when they spot a bare limb.
/// She is worried she’s no longer young
and she too often missed when she swung.
Her husband, the painter,
gets queerer and quainter.
Like her racket, she’s coming unstrung.
/// There’s that incident she will regret,
(which she’s tried very hard to forget).
When the match point was done
her opponent had won
and she tried jumping over the net.