Eugene de Blaas, Italian
Third Wheel Desperately Trying to Escape, But Her Friend is Sitting on Her Hand, 1904
Oil on panel
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// Chicolini has never been meek,
or too shy with the ladies to speak.
He adds The Flirtation
to each conversation.
He’s the “barefoot ragazzo with cheek.”
(All due credit to Max Shulman.)
/// From what I can see, this guy’s flirting
is viewed by the girls as diverting.
The things he’s asserting
seem not to be hurting;
it’s just talk, (there will be no inserting).
/// The bold redhead shows off a red stocking.
(Some signoras considered that shocking.)
The brunette’s new waist cincher
squeezed a slim eighteen incher.
Her wasp-waist brings the men around, flocking.
/// Because this girl is such a wee thing,
her form gets the local men seething.
Her shape’s hourglass,
this curvy young lass.
She has, (like men who stare), trouble breathing.
/// He has offered them fruit they can “buy.”
But the “price” he demands is too high.
They expect, (to be truthful),
that in time they’ll be fruitful,
but— unmarried— they won’t multiply.
/// Chicolini was part of a group—
a vaudevillian brother-act troop.
In three-part harmonia
they fought for Freedonia,
and Sylvania sank in Duck Soup.
/// To lead both down the dark primrose path
might be possible using some math.
One can go into two,
just two times, it is true,
(but that multiplies two fathers’ wrath).