Anton Einsle, Austrian
Man Making List of Things More Exciting Than This Painting, 1842
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #2933
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (typo, 1861 should be 1871), here, here, and here (Google translated), perhaps in addition to his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// Royal bean-counter, Francis Xavier
Zagler, wrote in a cursive that’s wavier
than John Hancock’s excesses.
It’s how Zagler expresses
joy, though “straight as a line” in behavior.
/// F. X. tries here to write, yet not look
at the quill, or the ink or the book.
“Court Accountant,” that’s him.
Looked away on a whim.
It’s a risk that he should have forsook.
/// For the lines he just hastily jotted
are all crooked, besmirched and ink-blotted.
And the ledger’s now filled
with illegibly quilled
words that make it seem he is besotted.
/// He takes names in the book that he wrote
of the people who crossed him and gloat.
True, he doesn’t “kick butt,”
or throw jabs to their gut,
but he’ll write them a stern, scolding note.
/// “Make the record complete,” he’ll insist.
(Doesn’t mind writer’s cramp in his wrist.)
Every name with birth date,
gender, marital state,
but their pronouns are too long to list.
/// This guy’s list of his girlfriends is long.
All attracted to men who are strong.
The ink used, (blue or black),
codes for “skill in the sack.”
But he’s made it all up! That’s just wrong.
/// For his wish list this “conquest list” fronts.
These wise women would not bed this dunce.
He knows nothing of vice;
he cannot have “done” twice
any women he’s never done once.