Hanns Bolz, German
That Look When a Prankster Replaces Your Monocle With a Slice of Zucchini, 1912
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3701
/// A monocle’s main application
isn’t eyesight, but mere ostentation.
Those who wear one appear
to be showing a sneer;
it’s a rich, snobbish man’s affectation.
/// If you wear one, it wouldn’t be wise
to react to a shocking surprise.
You will pay a high cost
if your monocle’s lost.
It “pops-out” when you widen your eyes.
/// Erich spent many hours perfecting
skills to angle his lens for reflecting.
When suspicious eyes stare
there’s a sharp, painful glare.
“Mind your business,” is what he’s projecting.
/// This man’s stomach was queasy, I think,
so he found medication to drink.
He’s blasé and aloof,
but his face shows the proof:
See his “mustache” of bright Pepto-pink!
/// To reduce eye bags, take this advice:
On each eye place a cucumber slice.
Just take care that it’s chilled
and you’re sure to be thrilled—
big results at a minimal price.