Nicolaes Maes, Dutch
Columbus’ Accountant Calculating Business Mileage Deduction for Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria, 1656
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (archived if necessary), here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his page (Google translated Dutch Wikipedia page has more).
/// The Account Keeper used innovation
to advantage her organization.
For her bosses, the Kruiks,
she kept two sets of books:
One for borrowing— One for taxation.
/// She ignores any law which encumbers
making profits, yet soundly she slumbers.
She’ll explain to her warders,
“I was following orders
of my boss, who made up all the numbers.”
/// The Accountant was later arrested,
and the records she kept were contested.
“Read the very fine print:
‘Don’t believe us,’ we hint.
Plus, I never learned math,” she protested.
/// It was soon clear the Kruik firm would fail.
The bookkeeper was threatened with jail.
Would she now cut her losses
and “flip” on her bosses,
or would Kruik’s unveiled threats now prevail?
An Accountant’s Tale:
/// Long ago a safari was caught.
All were placed in a cannibal’s pot.
Chief said, “Whoa! What’s your hurry?
Don’t eat CPA Murray.
Take him out. All the rest— cook the lot.”
/// Cook replied, “Don’t decide this in haste.
Take a look at him. Seems like a waste.
Murray’s marbled with fat,
most of all where he sat.”
Ruled the Chief: “No accounting for taste!”