THAT IS PRICELESS

Cornelis Dusart, Dutch

“Trick or Teat! Oops, I Meant ‘TREAT.’ I Have No Idea Where That Came From. Nice Pumpkins, By the Way. On Your Front Porch, I Mean! Okay, I Think I’ll Just Leave Now,” 1690

Oil on panel

Artist Unknown, English School

“Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture” (Collectible Maritime Edition!), Date Unknown

Color print

G.F. Gilman, American

The Marlboro Man, Back When He Was Known As the Marlboro Douchebag, 1875

Illustration

Hugo Kauffmann, German

“Wow, That Hat Is Fantastic on You. Why Don’t You Go Put on Your Wedding Dress So We Can See How They Look Together,” 1910

Oil on panel

Eugene de Blaas, Italian

“Congratulations, Girl!!! I KNEW They Were Going To Promote You To Socks and Underwear. Give Me 5 Minutes To Get the Rest of the Lice Out of These Pillowcases and Let’s Go Grab a Drink,” 1904

Oil on panel

Briton Rivière, British

At First Emily Was Concerned. But Then She Realized They Probably Just Smelled Her Cat on Her, 1902

Oil on canvas

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

“I Know It Seems Weird, But I Like To Bring My Pet Raccoons Down To the Baths. I Keep Them in This Cage Underneath Me. Though I Can Tell From Your Face I Forgot To Lock the Door Again LOL,” Before 1900

Oil on canvas

Grant Wood, American

Well, This Was Awkward, Thought Morty. What’s the Penalty For Grazing Arnold Palmer’s Junk on Your Backswing?, 1940

Oil on board

Jacob Heinrich Elbfas, Swedish

By the Time Arthur Realized They Hadn’t Said “Simon SAYS Put Your Right Hand On Your Hip,” It Was Too Late. And This Was Why He Hated Children’s Birthday Parties, 1631

Oil on canvas