Author: Steve Melcher

Knapp & Co., American

“Hi, Everyone! Welcome To Colton’s Birthday Party. I’ll Be Right Out With Some Snacks After I Chug a Couple of These Bad Boys in the Bathroom,” 1892

Lithograph

Sigismund Righini, German

Woman Practicing Her Look of Disappointment Before Stepping on the Bathroom Scale, 1904

Oil on canvas

Jules-Alexandre Patrouillard Degrave, French

“Antique, My A**. Last I Checked, Limoges Vases Didn’t Come With West Elm Price Tags,” 1869

Oil on canvas

Karl von Calzada, Spanish

Edward’s Least Favorite Part of Getting It On With Prostitutes Was the Awkwardness of Trying To Redeem His Coupon, 1866

Oil on canvas

William Etty, English

Ron Couldn’t Believe It. Growing Up, He’d Always Been Picked Last in Gym Class. And Now Here It Was Happening Again During Jury Selection, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Johann Matthias Ranftl, Austrian

“Let Me Put It This Way, Sweetheart. If You’re Asking Me If You Should Give Up Your Job As William Shakespeare’s Stunt Double, the Answer’s a Hard No,” 1844

Oil on panel

 Louis-Edouard May, French

“Hi, It’s Leg Day and I’m About To Do Some Power Squats. Would You Mind Spotting Me?,” 1880

Oil on canvas

John Smith, American

“Honey, I Think It’s Only Fair To Explain To the Kids That When We’re Talking About Taylor Having Endorsed You For President, We Mean Zachary Taylor,” 1866

Color lithograph

Anton Hickel, Austrian

“Then It’s Settled. Despite Not Being Remotely Funny, ‘The Bear’ Can Be in the Comedy Category. The Same Way We Let ‘Breaking Bad’ Compete as a Cooking Show,” 1793-94

Oil on canvas