Author: Steve Melcher

Jean-Bruno Gassies, French

“I’ve Managed To Get Hold of Mark Anthony’s Christmas List, Augustus. He’s Asking for an XBox, a Panini Press, and Something Called a ‘Sex Swing’? Oh, and Dominion Over the Known World,” 1814

Oil on canvas

Raimundo de Madrazo y Garreta, Spanish-Italian

“Um, No, You Can’t Have Pictures of My Feet. How Did You Get in Here?,” ca. 1870

Oil on canvas

Ernest-Ange Duez, French

For Estelle, Black Friday Was Traditionally Followed By “Do I Really Know 5 Different People Who’d Want a Rowing Machine?” Saturday, 1891

Oil on panel

Edmund Hodgson Smart, British

Cora Could Understand Her Guests Wanting To Arrive Fashionably Late For Her Thanksgiving Dinner, But It Was Now December 3^rd. Perhaps She Should Turn Down the Heat on the Turkey, 1907

Oil on canvas

August Malmström, Swedish

“Your Highness, I Am the One They Call Odysseus, and My Journey Has Kept Me From Ithaca For Nigh on 20 Years. Please Please PLEASE May I Use Your Restroom?,” 1853

Oil on canvas

Robert Hannah, British

“I Think I’ll Tryyyyyyyy Defiiiiiiining Gravity…” Early 1850s

Oil on canvas

Moritz von Schwind, German

“Scissors Cut Paper! Yes! I Win!,” 1846

Oil on canvas

Quentin Metsys, Flemish

“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of Them All? As You Consider Your Answer, Keep in Mind That I Do Own a Hammer,” ca. 1513

Oil on oak wood