Author: Steve Melcher

Johann Gottfried Auerbach, German

“If the Baby Asks For His Rattle, You Never Saw Me. Got It?,” ca. 1730

Oil on canvas

Jean Béraud, French

“…So Finally, the Stunned Agent Says, ‘Wow, That’s Quite an Act. What Do You Call Yourselves?’ And the Father Says…’The Aristocrats!,'” 1882

Oil on canvas

Ludwig von Hofmann, German

“Three Wishes? Okay, Let’s See. My First Wish Is For a Million Dollars. My Second Wish Is World Peace. And My Third Wish Is That You Untie Me and Give Me and the Other Park Ranger Our Clothes Back,” ca. 1900

Pastel over pencil on wove paper

Christian Andreas Schleisner, Danish

Irving Loved It When Sylvia Whispered Dirty Talk in His Ear. But It Was Always a Little Awkward When She Did It at Work, 1859

Oil on canvas

Paul Fischer, Danish

“Wow, This Is Really Great Exercise. Especially the Part Where You Stop Every 20 Feet To Pull Your Skirt Out of the Spokes,” Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Edmund Blair Leighton, English

Woman Stymied in Midst of Love Poem When She Can’t Come Up With Rhyme For “Testicles,” 1913

Oil on panel

Paul Fischer, Danish

“What? Oh No, I’m Not a Nudist. I Just Really, REALLY Hate Trying on Swimsuits,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Jan Steen, Dutch

The Classic Rock Group Emerson, Lake & Creeper, ca. 1670

Oil on canvas