Author: Steve Melcher

Eugene de Blaas, Italian

“Congratulations, Girl!!! I KNEW They Were Going To Promote You To Socks and Underwear. Give Me 5 Minutes To Get the Rest of the Lice Out of These Pillowcases and Let’s Go Grab a Drink,” 1904

Oil on panel

Briton Rivière, British

At First Emily Was Concerned. But Then She Realized They Probably Just Smelled Her Cat on Her, 1902

Oil on canvas

Jean-Léon Gérôme, French

“I Know It Seems Weird, But I Like To Bring My Pet Raccoons Down To the Baths. I Keep Them in This Cage Underneath Me. Though I Can Tell From Your Face I Forgot To Lock the Door Again LOL,” Before 1900

Oil on canvas

Grant Wood, American

Well, This Was Awkward, Thought Morty. What’s the Penalty For Grazing Arnold Palmer’s Junk on Your Backswing?, 1940

Oil on board

Jacob Heinrich Elbfas, Swedish

By the Time Arthur Realized They Hadn’t Said “Simon SAYS Put Your Right Hand On Your Hip,” It Was Too Late. And This Was Why He Hated Children’s Birthday Parties, 1631

Oil on canvas

Kristian Zahrtmann, Danish

When You’re One Day Into a 10-Year Prison Sentence and Realize You Forgot To Bring a Book, 1870

Oil on canvas

Camille Félix Bellanger, French

Florence Would’ve Ordinarily Given More Thought To Her Outfit, But She’d Been Told This Meeting Was Going To Be a Zoom, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Henry Andrews, English

“Hey, I Was Just Being Chivalrous. That Wedgie Wasn’t Going To Dislodge Itself,” 1857

Oil on canvas

Nicolaas Pieneman, Dutch

Rembrandt Looking at Porn (For “Research Purposes” Only), 1852

Oil on panel