Author: Steve Melcher

Augustus Edwin Mulready, British

News Junkie Begging For a Fix, 1874

Oil on cardboard

Federico Andreotti, Italian

“Oh, I Was Merely Saying That I Wanted To Purchase Your Entire Inventory. But You’re Right. ‘I’d Love To De-Flower You’ Was Perhaps a Poor Choice of Words,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Artist Unknown

The Hot Toy This Holiday Season: Overdressed Fly Fishing Barbie™ (Hip Waders Sold Separately), 1906

Chromolithograph

Henri Jules Jean Geoffroy, French

“Yeah, I Know I Used To Only Demand 2 of Your Cookies Per Day. But Now It’s 2-and-a-Quarter Cookies. The Fed Raised Rates Again,” 1882

Oil on canvas

William Powell Frith, English

The Artist, Wondering If Maybe His Story About Seeing Monet At His Gym Wasn’t As Fascinating As He Thought It Was, 1853

Oil on canvas

Georges Rochegrosse, French

“I’m Going To Order Some Wine, Fifi. Can I Get You a Glass of Toilet Water? And Would You Prefer Flat or Sparkling?,” 1904

Oil on canvas

George Dunlop Leslie, British

GIRL: “Let Me Get This Straight. I’m Not Allowed To Take Candy From Strangers.“

MOTHER: “That’s Right, Dear.”

GIRL: “Except For Tonight, When We Make It a Sport?”

MOTHER: “Exactly.” ca. 1879

Oil on canvas

Richard Bergh, Swedish

“No, It’s Not a Coma. This Happens Every Time She Accidentally Puts Her Vibrator in Ludicrous Mode,” 1887

Oil on canvas

Jan van Bijlert, Dutch

As Their Table Was Enveloped By a Familiar Stench, Breanna Realized the Pretzel Was Merely a Ruse To Get Her To Pull Rob’s Finger, 1630-40

Oil on canvas