Author: Steve Melcher

Vilhelm Hammershøi, Danish

Dystopian Vision of a Future Where They Actually Do Ban TikTok, 1902

Oil on canvas

Charles Burton Barber, English

“Do NOT Tell Mommy That This Is Where I Stashed My Weed,” 1892

Oil on canvas

Johann Peter Krafft, Austrian

“You Know, I Used To Drive a Big SUV, But When Gas Prices Went Sky-High, I Decided To Switch To a Hybrid,” ca. 1842

Oil on paper on cardboard

Wouter Crabeth II, Dutch

“Well, Technically You Have TWO Pairs. I Would Raise,” After 1626

Oil on canvas

Antonio Ermolao Paoletti, Italian

“You Call THAT Making Out? You Should’ve Seen Them Last Night When We Were Playing Spin the Botticelli,” Before 1912

Oil on canvas

Paul Seignac, French

“…Cannot Afford An Attorney, One Will Be Appointed For You. Do You Understand These Rights As They Have Been Read To You?,” Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Edmund Blair Leighton, English

“Hey, So You’re a Milkmaid? I’ve Got a Good One For You: Why Do Cows Have Hooves Instead of Feet? Because They Lactose! Get It? Okay, That Was Kind of Cheesy, So Here’s Another One…” 1920

Oil on panel

Alfred Diston, British

Suddenly, the Idyllic Silence of the Countryside Was Shattered By the Vendor’s Strident Call: “Asparagus Spears! Get Yer Red-Hot Asparagus Spears Heah!,” 1828

Watercolor and graphite on moderately thick, slightly textured, cream wove paper