Author: Steve Melcher

John Russell, English

“Why Yes, I AM an Aries. How on Earth Did You Guess?,” 1799

Pastel on medium, cream, slightly textured wove paper mounted on canvas

Edgar Degas, French

From a Young Age, Giovanna Had Always Been More Successful Than Her Sister, Giuliana. Their Parents Blamed Giuliana’s Lack of Focus, 1865-66

Oil on canvas

Edmund Leighton, British

“You Know We’re Both Thinking It: If Ben and J. Lo Can’t Make It Work, What Chance Do WE Have?,” 1903

Oil on canvas

Georges D’Espagnat, French

“Priceless” Football Tip of the Day: When Making an Open-Field Tackle, Always Go For the Legs, Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Alessandro Allori, Italian

“Stand Back, Son. I’ve Got This. Excuse Me, Miss, But What Did You Mean When You Said My Dress Was ‘A Lot?’” ca. 1580-1607

Oil on canvas

Georges D’Espagnat, French

“Okay, I Didn’t Ask You To Do That. Now You’ve Made It Weird,” Date Unknown

Oil on canvas

Mary Cassatt, American

“Now Remember, Dear. If a Gentleman Is Ever Giving You Some Unwanted Attention, Just Pull One of These Suckers Out. Problem Solved,” 1893

Hand-colored drypoint and aquatint

Édouard Manet, French

“Begging Your Pardon, Sir, But I Don’t Even Know What a WiFi Password IS. Are You Sure You’re in the Right Painting?,” 1882

Oil on canvas