Józef Simmler, Russian-Polish
“Okay, Now Let’s Try a Pose Where You’re Stretching Before the Clothing-Optional Heat of the Ironman Triathlon,” ca. 1841-42
Oil on panel
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Written in response to this being the exact same painting and caption from one month ago (Masterpiece #3676):
/// Males told Steve, “Naked’s great… but not men.”
We don’t care if gals rate them a ten.
Yet, not one month went by
and Steve “Threwback” this guy.
Déjà vu here all over again!
/// Still, I guess I’ll give Melcher a break.
This could easily be a mistake.
Or perhaps this repeat’s
an intentional cheat,
so, for Easter, time off he could take.
/// This man’s naked because he got sloshed,
and his judgement was totally squashed.
It’s Good Friday, and since
he is barefoot a rinse
will come after he gets his feet washed.
/// His expression appears to be pained,
but he’s playacting being detained.
He just can’t get enough
when the pros treat him rough,
and pays extra to do it while chained.
/// “A leg up” implies getting a boost.
An advantage, (much like having “juiced”).
Someone’s hands form a stair
to help him climb up there,
but, undressed, he must risk being “goosed.”
/// Stubbing toes when you’re barefoot is tough,
but his Mommy’s kiss may be enough
to make pain disappear.
Then when Mommy’s not here,
this guy’s close friend can kiss other stuff.
/// I don’t know if this fella is straight,
so I don’t know what gender he’d date.
It may end in divorce
if he’s married by force
to a person who’s not his true mate.