Christian Ludwig Bokelmann, German
When Norman’s Publisher Promised Him His New Book Was Going To Be Huge, This Wasn’t What He Thought He Meant, 1879
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here (Google translated, click ADB for text), perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
/// In his office, The Art Connoisseur,
to his massive art books would refer.
Since his eyesight’s so bad,
all his catalogs had
twenty-four point type. (Smaller would blur.)
/// When he writes about art, without fail,
he makes certain large fonts will prevail.
He enlarges and hypes
commentary he types.
(The fine print pervades his bills of sale.)
/// The amateur’s office location
had no windows and poor ventilation.
His unchecked inhalation
of his own flatulation
caused the blur (methane intoxication).
/// Herr Kunst’s sight has been waning for ages,
and his books grew much larger in stages.
First the font size increased
‘til each tome had at least
one or two thousand standard-sized pages.
/// Volumes monstrously thick were unstable.
Soon his bookbinders said, “We’re unable
to produce tomes that wide.”
And, instead, they now tried
to make books large as his coffee table.
/// That he’d soon be blind filled Kunst with dread.
Without art, he would rather be dead.
An acquaintance, (female),
taught him how to read Braille,
and he now studies sculpture instead.