Heinrich Rettig, German
“Well, That Depends. If I Tell You I Like It, Will You Agree To Turn the Heat Up in Here?,” Before 1921
Watercolor on paper
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Info about this artist can be found at, or pointed to by links in, his German Wikipedia page (Google translated if necessary).
/// In the Studio young Hertha froze,
having taken off all of her clothes,
while the painter, (old goat),
wears a long heavy coat
and he’s bundled up head to his toes.
/// Hertha knew that the job required stripping,
but she trembles, her nose red and dripping.
The stove gives off no heat,
so she clenches her seat,
and requests the flask from which he’s sipping.
/// Since the artist’s a miserly fool,
there’s a stove, but he hasn’t bought fuel.
He’s burnt sketches in ink,
but his oil paintings stink
when in flames. Being cold is uncool.
/// Fortified by some schnapps, the girl sighs
and, resuming her pose, Hertha tries
to remain very still,
but she shivers until,
“Stop that jiggling!” he angrily cries.
/// Much, much later, his painting is through.
(The next day, she came down with the flu.)
Soon her portrait was sold;
his skill captured the cold.
It was titled “Nude Girl Turning Blue.”
/// Blondie thought if she posed in the nude
it would help Dagwood get “in the mood.”
Though her looks still amaze,
Dagwood’s been in a phase
where he lusts after nothing but food.