Henry Scott Tuke, English
After Falling Out of the Boat For the Third Time, Butch Was Forced To Admit That Perhaps It Was Actually HE Who Was Doing It Wrong, 1902
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// They are Going Ashore for the Skipper.
(Skip, ship’s captain of the Yankee Clipper.)
He’s attached to a stripper.
Drunk, he moved in to grip her
and Skip’s beard became stuck in her zipper.
/// Angry stripper would love to be free
of the skipper who has stubbornly
been refusing to snip
his beard out of her zip,
or to pay for her dress a high fee.
/// In the rowboat are Georgie and “Mitchie.”
Mitchie does something odd here, in which he
rows while standing up, yet,
if he sat he’d get wet,
and his wool pants, when damp, are too itchy.
/// This maneuver they’re trying, they’ve found,
in a tight circle turns the boat ‘round.
What they hope to do here,
is back up to the pier,
but, more likely, they’ll run it aground.
/// Once ashore they must locate the club
where the stripper works. Really a pub
with a spot near the bar
where the naked girls are.
Bar and women could all use a scrub.
/// In a back room the skipper sleeps off
booze he quaffed like a pig at the trough.
Georgie thinks to try soapin’
the zip. Gets it open.
All three leave, as the crude strippers scoff.
/// The mate, Jack, who is standing in back,
wants a cap he can get off the rack.
If your good health you prize,
never shout out “capsize”
in a boat (also, don’t say “Hi, Jack!”)