Charles Willson Peale, American
“Great Moments in Phallic Portraiture” (Page 517), 1788
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3184
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here (archived if necessary), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// This odd scene’s filled with objects symbolic,
like the spyglass, its size hyperbolic.
Length and girth overreaches,
plus it’s aimed at her peaches.
Ben and Eleanor— eager to frolic.
/// If you’ve seen peach emojis, you know
they can signify parts “down below.”
The couple named Laming
can pose without shaming
in this privates-by-proxy tableau.
/// There are also a few symbols here
which have meanings that aren’t so clear.
Why would that parrot stand
next to Benjamin’s hand?
“Care to try Polly-amory, Dear?”
/// It seems clear from Ben’s posture and style
that he’s hoping, his wife, to beguile.
His eyes beam at her face.
She stares off into space,
with a shy, self-absorbed, secret smile.
/// And yet why doesn’t she meet his gaze?
Could she be in some kind of malaise?
To ensure he’ll be hugged,
perhaps he keeps her drugged.
Eleanor’s in a Ben-induced daze.
/// She looked down and then went into shock.
He said “Been like this since one o’clock
in the morning, I think.
Now past noon, still won’t shrink.
It’s far more than eight hours— call the Doc!”