Kristian Zahrtmann, Danish
“I’m Talking To Him the Night Before the Wedding, Right? And I Suddenly Realize That He Says ‘To-May-To,’ While I Of Course Say ‘To-Mah-To.’ So We Called The Whole Thing Off,” 1878-79
Oil on canvas
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Artist info is pointed to in my comment at another blog entry.
/// The dispute is momentous and great.
Entrenched sides will not end the debate.
I will render it moot:
A tomato’s a fruit
(in a sour vegetative-like state).
/// Their tomatoes were picked— they were done,
but one basket’s left out in the sun.
Though they’re being sun-dried,
too much moisture’s inside,
and the process of rot has begun.
/// These Italian girls both planned it so;
they’ve discovered they share the same beau.
He has shown no contrition,
so they’ve grown ammunition:
pounds of rotten tomatoes to throw.
/// The young cad left both girls in the lurch.
In two weeks he’ll be wed in the church
to his third fiancée.
(This one’s father will pay.)
So they’ll pelt the groom from a high perch.
/// These two peasant girls don’t like to boast,
but the crops that they grow are the most
firm, red, aromatic,
(and ærodynamic),
fruits found on Amalfi’s famed coast.