Henry Alexander, American
Today’s Experiment: Studying the Effect of Alcohol on One’s Bitterness at Being Snubbed For the Nobel Prize AGAIN, ca. 1885-87
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// In the Lab sits a chemist, Thom Price,
an assayer who’s skilled and concise.
By a client he’s told,
“This rock must contain gold!”
Thomas said to the miner, “That’s gneiss.”
/// When the miner heard Price’s reports,
that these “riches” were pyrites or quartz,
every answer he got
seemed to come with a “shot,”
and he hated Thom’s brittle retorts.
retort: (noun) Chemistry. a glass bulb with a
long downward bent neck used for distilling
or decomposing substances with heat.
/// What the chemist is testing for here:
This gold liquid— it’s urine or beer?
Some asparagus well
may account for the smell,
but some beers have that same stench, I hear.
/// The two fluids, we know, are related.
Both are yellow, (as earlier stated).
Both, when first made, are warm.
Beer is known to transform
into piss; first he chugged it, then waited.