Frederick Childe Hassam, American
“Listen, I Understand That As the Creamer You Feel Overshadowed By the Teapot, But I’m Getting a Little Tired of This ‘Pour ME’ Routine,” 1912
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// With her Strawberry Tea Set she poses,
and close scrutiny just now discloses
what she’d not seen before
in the fine china store.
When she bought them, she thought they showed roses.
/// In truth, rose tea’s the drink she preferred.
(Offered strawberry tea, she demurred.)
Though both drinks promote health,
her inherited wealth
ensured sets could match teas. Oh, my word!
/// Out of all of the tea sets she’s got,
one’s the oddest set of the whole lot.
It’s a strange thing to see
when she pours her green tea
from an oxidized copper tea pot.
/// In a move that was just a bit risky
she ensured that each tea time got frisky.
What was meant as a creamer
had been used by this schemer
to dispense, on the sly, Irish Whiskey.
/// “Patterns move,” is what she’s now describin’.
It might be all the tea she’s imbibin’.
Brewed with more than Earl Grey,
(she’d boiled mushrooms today);
now her bev’rage contains psilocybin.
/// Shopping stoned was her first big mistake.
There are others she later would make.
When she smoked what she’d stashed,
girl and china got smashed.
Stick with stoned-ware— less likely to break!
/// “Those Chinese knew tea, back in the day,
and made porcelain? That’s what you say.
I prefer that my china
comes from South Carolina,
made right here, in the U. S. of A.”