Edwin Howland Blashfield, American
“Listen. You’re a Nice Gaius, Flavius, But I’m Just Not Interested in Having Sextus,” Before 1882
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// In this scene of The Lover’s Advance,
Titus clearly is after romance.
Vesta blocks his pursuit
by upending some fruit.
Her two sisters look on (one askance).
/// Lusty Titus is only aware
of the girl, not the fruit on the stair.
As toward her he reaches
he finds only peaches,
but he really was seeking her pear.
/// Hands grip Vesta’s left arm and her waist.
She must calm him or end up disgraced.
With a smile and a wink
she gives Titus a drink.
She’s still chased, but, for now, she’s still chaste.
/// Titus wants her, but knows acting bold
may not be as effective as gold.
Vesta’s sisters described,
(because both had been bribed),
where, alone, every night Vesta strolled.
/// That night he to the atrium sped.
Titus found her attired for bed.
She preferred being wooed
over hugs rough and rude,
and so, later that Spring they were wed.
/// In that atrium, Cupid’s Love Dart
struck poor Titus and vanquished his heart.
They did not “have relations;”
(he had bad palpitations).
Vesta’s kiss sparked his muscle’s restart.
/// Though the one she’s with wants to “make merry,”
what she’s losing here isn’t her cherry.
(That was lost in the course
of a ride on her horse.)
With a man she has learned to be wary.
/// Down a long flight of steps made of stone
he fell hard, breaking many a bone.
On some fruit had he slipped?
Did he faint? Had he tripped?
No, it seems pretty clear, he was thrown.
(Crushed, contused Cadius called compassionate chiropractor cousin Claudius carrying coveted caduceus.)