Howard Pyle, American
“Sir, the Opposition Has Dug Up That Old Story About You Chopping Down the Cherry Tree. We Need To Get Ahead of This. We Have a Witness Who’s Willing To Say They Saw the Cherry Tree Come At You. Shall I Reach Out to Rachel Maddow’s People?,” ca. 1890-96
Oil on illustration board
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// Suspect stories spun by Parson Weems
were some fables concocted from dreams.
This we’ve heard, but a guy
who had witnessed the “lie,”
testified all is not what it seems.
/// Confessed George, “I cannot tell a lie.
Father’s tree was chopped down… it was I.
We’d been told cherry wood,
dried and aged, is quite good
to be carved into teeth, and that’s why.”
/// At Mount Vernon he’s here to announce
that the Congress had finished the counts
for the POTUS election.
The electors’ selection:
Washington won the greater amounts.
/// As the “Father” of our nascent nation,
George was loved by a large population.
A great General, he’d
won the war and, indeed,
helped unite an unsound Federation.
/// Mr. Thompson, Congressional Clerk,
has some tasks much too vital to shirk.
Right to John Adams’ face
he’ll say, “You’re second place.”
(Thompson hopes the VEEP won’t go berserk!)
/// Adam’s didn’t dispute the result;
he bore his loss like an adult.
Despised the V.P. job,
but did not stir a mob
into violent acts, like a cult.
/// George was told this room needed more seating
to be used for a cabinet meeting.
He was asked for advice
and, without thinking twice
gave them this response just before eating:
/// “In that case, let’s search the whole city
for chairs, since we ought to have pity
for the weak and infirm
who will serve me this term
as a part of the standing committee.”