Eugène Jansson, Swedish
Darren Suddenly Realized He’d Misunderstood the Spa Brochure When It Had Recommended That Guests Wear Their Birthday Suit, 1910
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), and here, perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Swedish Wikipedia page has more).
/// Eugène Jansson indulged in his yen
to paint young, naked, muscular men.
His self-portrait’s a sight;
clad in virginal white,
he’s backed up by a close friend (or ten).
/// Jansson dressed like a bit of a dandy.
His legs, hidden by pants, don’t look bandy.
Pants can also disguise,
(if they’re loose in the thighs),
that he happens to feel a bit randy.
/// Some have called his attire incomplete,
on account of his nearly bare feet.
But, in front of these jocks,
wearing sandals with socks
would have gotten him kicked to the street.
/// As he stood there, two thoughts came across:
“Would my smile be enhanced by some gloss?”
And he hungered, as well,
for he thought he could smell
Swedish meat balls and warm creamy sauce.
/// Scenes like this in a gym are not shockers.
Gene is just on his way to the lockers.
He’ll strip down, and then shower
with “the boys” for an hour.
(He likes masculine pecs and not knockers.)
/// Way back then, in that time and that place,
being gay would bring more than disgrace.
‘Twas sin and unlawful,
a practice so awful,
once seen nude you could not show your face.
/// All these men look to be fairly hairless,
save their heads, (also groins, when they wear less).
A trimmer cuts hair,
but watch out “down there.”
You can injure yourself if you’re careless.
// If you’re wary of sharp scrotal shearing,
be aware of just what you are fearing.
That a slip of your hand
just might leave you unmanned?
Or the Trimmer’s Chinese engineering?