Carl Johann Spielter, German
“So I Say To the Model, ‘Hey! Lay Off Those Doughnuts! I’m Not Trying To Paint a Rubens Here.’ And That — To Answer Your Question — Is Why She’s Giving Me the Finger,” 1901
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here (if truncated, can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to his Google translated German Wikipedia page.
/// “It’s exactly as I always feared,
with no girlfriend, they think that I’m weird.
I’ve lived my whole life
without taking a wife.
Ask your model if she’ll be my beard.”
/// “A poor beauty with no home or food
will agree to pose here in the nude.
And for large enough cheques
she might even have sex,
but to ask her to ‘beard’ would be rude.
/// After all, the poor girl has her pride.
She has dreams to one day be a bride.
What if you should suggest
your male lover cross-dressed?
You could date ‘her’ and not have to hide.”
/// Late in life they would paint, on a lark,
scenes of lung disease, morbid and dark.
Lived on money folks paid
for the Cough Drops they’d made
as the Smith Brothers pair, Trade and Mark.