John Frederick Herring, Sr., British
“Listen, This Is the Dressage Competition at the Olympics. You and I Have To Project a Certain Air of Sophistication. Give Me Your Gum,” 1839
Oil on canvas
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, and here (the second of which may be unresponsive), perhaps in addition to what's in his Wikipedia page.
/// To be bred was this fine stallion’s fate,
and the mares were all eager to mate
with a stud of such “size.”
He’d been raised (no surprise)
in the stables of Catherine the Great.
/// He’d run off from the officers’ quarters
and was found near the neighboring borders.
He had reason to spurn
that command to return:
From a bellboy he wouldn’t take orders.
/// Chestnut proudly spurned Jasper’s commands.
He was marked by Imperial brands.
Jasper knew not the worth
of this steed, nor his girth,
for his size would be measured in “hands.”
/// (Lurid tales about Catherine the Great
and her maxi-equipped equine mate
were the fancies of mean
men who envied a Queen
and who failed to find women to date.)
Sadly, Chestnut was the only one amused by Jasper’s rendition of “I’m a little teapot.”
/// Chestnut loved to watch Jasper act out
children’s songs with a lisp and a pout.
For a handle he’d slip
his left hand on his hip.
His right arm was the li’l teapot’s spout.