Teodor Axentowicz, Polish
Girl Upset After the Other Kids Called Her a Buttervase, 1900
Oil on canvas
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MASTERPIECE #3680
/// Why’s the Girl with a Blue Vase in Tears?
Her deep sadness is due to her fears
that the urn she loves best
will soon be repossessed.
Credit payments are months in arrears.
/// To save money she stayed out of shops,
but in time she outgrew all her tops.
She assumed her long hair
would hide where she is bare,
but a strong breeze was seen by some cops.
/// All the men think Zofia’s sublime,
but her habit to tease is a crime.
Her technique has its flaws;
men keep staring because
she can hide just one side at a time.
/// Poor Zofia would painfully learn
you can’t pay bills for more than you earn.
She would have to replace
that enormous blue vase
as her whole family’s funeral urn.
/// Her great-grandparents and other kin
had been cremated and stored within.
All their ashes commingle—
sixty souls in one single
place (to be disinterred with chagrin).