
John Collier, British
“Oops! I Just Farted. You Might Want To Flap That Thing a Little,” 1910
Oil on canvas
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John Collier, British
“Oops! I Just Farted. You Might Want To Flap That Thing a Little,” 1910
Oil on canvas
Info about this artist is pointed to by my comment and reply at another blog entry.
/// Two young Pages attend A Great Lady.
Both are nervous and each is afraid he
will, by chance, drop her train
and not be seen again.
(When she’s angered she’ll do something shady.)
/// Her sick cruelty wasn’t disguised.
Everyone was, for fun, terrorized.
Hat and shoes have sharp points
which can puncture your joints;
she, with torture tools accessorized.
/// All her Pages were chosen with care.
They must have very long and straight hair;
move with balletic grace;
have a sweet “girlish“ face;
and strap down any bulges “down there.”
/// The Grand Lady worked hard to destroy
any chance that a Page might enjoy
his brief pre-teenage years,
because each of them fears
that he’ll never be viewed as a boy.
/// Since Milady by kindness was bored,
it was Sadism which she explored.
With their gender disguised,
Pageboys were “feminized”
to attract her sick husband, the Lord.
/// Boys who worked for her filled up with rage
to be tortured at such a young age.
And her husband and Lord
with this sin was on board.
They were both often on the same page.
/// Every day which was sunny and fair
she would take a brief walk, for fresh air.
These new Pages she’d hired
had together conspired
that they’d yank her long cape on the stair.
/// The result of their sudden attack
was Milady was roughly pulled back.
She was tugged with such speed
from their dastardly deed
that her head hit a stair with a crack.
/// So, what happens next; what if she dies?
Did the Pages prepare alibis?
Might that blow to her head
turn her kindly instead?
I will leave that to you to surmise.