John Maler Collier, British
When You’re Trying To Take a Selfie But Your Phone Keeps Sliding Off the Saddle, 1898
Oil on canvas
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/// Lord Leofric oppressed Coventry.
His wife begged, “Cut tax. Do it for me.”
So he tried to contrive a
test for Lady Godiva
to which he thought she’d never agree.
/// His wife wouldn’t give up her pitch,
though high taxes kept Leofric rich.
“I will do what you ask,
but first you have a task:
Ride through town while not wearing a stitch!”
/// To his shock, the shy Lady agreed,
and she mounted her snowy white steed.
She had nothing to wear
but her long auburn hair,
and with head bowed did what he’d decreed.
/// All the townsfolk were told of her ride,
and were warned they should each stay inside
with their windows barred shut.
The whole town complied, but
for a tailor who secretly spied.
/// Tom thought “She won’t see me, so won’t mind.
If she does, then I’ll pay what I’m fined.”
At her horse, stones he chucked.
When he hit it, it bucked.
Saw her bare behind— then got struck blind.
/// For his sin, Peeping Tom came to grief.
Yet this tale, a myth, beggars belief.
Not that just one man viewed
fair Godiva while nude,
but that peasants received tax relief!
/// As she followed the pre-arranged course,
peasants had to be held back by force.
Many men in the crowd
implied she was too proud.
Said: “Come down, Lady, off your high horse!”