After Hans Holbein the Younger, German
“Ahhh, So You Have Traveled to the New World. Tell Me, Good Sir. What Is This ‘Ozempic’ One Hears Tale Of?,” ca. 1540s
Oil on wood panel
Follow That Is Priceless on Social Media and GoComics (the Link button):
Click to Follow This Blog or Share This Masterpiece:
Info about the named artist is pointed to by my comment at another blog entry.
/// Henry was a great catch in his youth,
before age and weight turned him uncouth.
He was handsome and lean,
and to be Henry’s Queen,
many women would die, that’s the truth.
/// He must marry to breed an heir, but
there were too many choices— a glut.
Many noble girls vied
to become Henry’s bride,
but not many survived that first cut.
/// Many maidens he “made” and rejected,
‘til, at last, England’s Queen was selected.
Though they constantly tried,
all their children soon died.
What came next, Katherine never suspected.
/// When a son from his wife Henry lacks,
he divorced (despite Papal attacks).
The subsequent schism
led to Anglicanism,
and thus future wives can “get the axe.”
/// Down from horseback to hard ground ejected,
an old injury got reinfected.
Henry’s wound won’t improve
and, in time he can’t move
without being wheeled where he directed.
/// The King gorged and grew ever more wide,
like two fatted calves placed side-by-side.
His waist, fifty-four inches
(despite several strong cinches),
was a huge factor in how he died.
/// If you’re English and you’ve been divorced,
thanks to Henry you haven’t been forced
to remain man and wife
for the rest of your life.
(Today, killing mates isn’t endorsed.)