Hans Holbein the Younger, German
“Listen. Normally, I Wouldn’t Mind You Calling Me a Birdbrain. But Please, Not in Front of Devon,” 1533
Oil on panel
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Info, or perhaps links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page.
/// The chief falconer to England’s King,
Robert Cheseman trained birds to take wing.
In King Henry the Eighth,
Robert had perfect faith.
(If he hadn’t the axes might swing!)
/// The swift falcon and man, both serene,
do their jobs like a well-oiled machine.
In the court Rob had seen
Henry turn cold and mean
when displeased by a vexatious Queen.
/// His hood keeps this fierce bird calm and blind;
there’s no need for him to be confined.
While deprived of his sight
he won’t be taking flight.
The brass bell makes him simpler to find.
/// Raptor, perched on Rob’s thick leather glove,
will, in flight, steeply dive from above.
Once he’s spotted his prey,
they do not get away.
In a trice, Raptor’s feasting on dove.
/// Those sharp talons have many birds slain;
their clench (even through gloves) can cause pain.
Once it gripped his bare arm
and did serious harm
when the falcon’s claw punctured a vein.
/// Perhaps Holbein the Younger’s grand scheme
was to paint Henry and his whole “team.”
Portrayed sleeves of red satin,
but the caption (in Latin)
makes this portrait seem more like a meme.
/// Henry, on Holbein’s portrait relied,
when he made Anne of Cleves his fourth bride,
but he thought he’d been gulled
so he had it annulled,
and Anne prudently then stepped aside.
/// By the Maltese this Falcon was dreaded
after it had been fully embedded
with umpteen precious jewels,
but they flimflammed the fools
by then having the whole surface leaded.