Georg Friedrich Kersting, German
Sure, Neil’s Rifle Technique Was Unorthodox, But He Found It Kept Folks From Sneaking Up Behind Him, 1829
Oil on panel
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Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here (archived if necessary), here, here, here (Google translated), and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated German Wikipedia page has more).
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/// This shy soldier is On Outpost duty.
“His” male comrades don’t know she’s a beauty.
When she fires her rifle,
lustful throbs she must stifle
with the hot barrel nearby her booty.
/// She worked hard not to, naked, be seen.
She bathed secretly, (not very clean).
All the men thought, “He’s shy.
Just an odd little guy
who, it seems, doesn’t use the latrine.”
/// That the wench never bathed on most days
helped her ruse in a great many ways.
She was never seen bare;
to come close, none would dare,
even horses responded with “neighs.”
/// As a patriot, Nina enlisted.
Brother Nino, however resisted.
So that she might get in,
she switched names with her twin.
Told “No,” nevertheless she persisted.
/// The twin siblings had kindred physiques,
but to turn into “Nino” took tweaks.
Nina’s long curly hair
she had cut, except where
she affixed it with wax to her cheeks.
/// All their forefathers coming before
had fought bravely in every war.
Nina’s family name
she protected from shame.
And, it turned out, she loved blood and gore.
/// That long rifle was Fred’s greatest prize.
“Gun control” was a phrase to despise.
Often, you’d hear Fred say,
“You’ll take Betsy away
when she’s pried from my cold and dead thighs!”