Peter Paul Rubens, Flemish
The Favorite in This Year’s “Best Supporting” Category, 1622-25
Oil on oak wood
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MASTERPIECE #2901
Info, or links that point to more info, about this artist can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here (can be read in full for free on Fridays), here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here, perhaps in addition to what’s in his Wikipedia page (Google translated Dutch Wikipedia page may have more).
Archive of 3rd here link, if necessary.
/// Mrs. Lunden’s been called “Rubenesque.”
(She is curvy, but no way grotesque.)
And her chest deeply cleaves
when her pale bosom heaves.
That is how she got into burlesque.
/// What’s the feature toward which man’s eyes draw?
Not her hat, said to be made of straw.
Yet, Susanna was famed
for this painting thus named,
by her yet to be brother-in-law.
/// Oh, Susanna— not shy or discreet;
she goes out, bust exposed, on the street.
But what swells her with pride
is that something inside,
engineering a structural feat.
/// Some young boys that she met were like rubes—
mesmerized by a glimpse of her boobs.
From her mouth you’d not hear,
“Hey, my eyes are up here!”
(They’d collapse if they ever saw pubes.)
/// Mrs. Lunden with good luck abounds;
overeats and her bosom gains pounds.
So to honor the treat
that she most loves to eat,
she had named her bust “Peter Paul Mounds.”
/// When she first named her breasts, late last fall,
one was slightly too big— one too small.
So she went into hock
to afford the best Doc,
who “robbed” Peter to partly “pay” Paul.
/// She’s been called “Treasure Chest,” yes indeed,
as the Pirates who snatched her agreed.
That’s why she never sank
when she walked off the plank.
With those “floats,” no Mae West did she need.