Category: Uncategorized

Franz von Stuck, German

Mara Had Hoped She and Her Date Might Find an Emotional Connection, But This Creep Was Nakedly Just Looking For a Little Tail, 1891

Oil on panel

 

Titian, Italian

In Retrospect, Alfonso Really Wished the Date For His Official Portrait Sitting Had Fallen on a School Day, 1533

Oil on canvas

 

Charles Napier Kennedy, British

“You Do Realize, Young Lady, There Are Easier Ways To Huff Paint,” 1898

Oil on canvas

 

Michiel Sweerts, Flemish

“Look at the Schedule, Chief. The Artist Has Me Down For 2 O’Clock and You For 3. So Kindly Move Your A** and Take Your Pillow With You,” ca. 1660-62

Oil on panel

Carl Röchling, German

“Captain, These Three Soldiers Were Born With Feet Where Their Hands Should Be. So I Would Argue They Actually Belong in the Cavalry Division,” 1890

Oil on canvas

 

Laura Theresa Epps Alma-Tadema, British

Annoyed, Hayley Wished Jeff Had Briefed Himself on the Female Anatomy BEFORE They Got to the Honeymoon Suite, Date Unknown

Oil on panel

Archibald Archer, British

“Considering We ‘Borrowed’ Them From the Parthenon, Of Course We COULD Just Give Them Back. But I’d Love To See What We Can Get For Them on Craigslist First,” 1819

Oil on canvas

 

Joseph Dorn, German

“Great Job. Now Could You Give Me One 8×10, a Couple of 5x7s, and 10 Wallet-Size? I’ll Wait,” 1832

Oil on panel

 

Daniel Gardner, British

“I Had To Improvise a Bit With This Year’s Witches’ Brew, Ladies. Whole Foods Ran Out of Pumpkin Spice Eye of Newt,” 1775

Gouache and chalk on paper

 

Adriaan de Lelie and Willem van Leen, Dutch

In His Advanced Age Nathaniel’s Eyesight Had Begun To Fail, But Luckily He Hadn’t Lost His Herring, 1815

Oil on canvas