“If You Kiss Me, I’ll Turn Back Into a Prince. Otherwise, I Can Only Do It Through a Complex Surgical Procedure Which Isn’t Covered By My Insurance Because It’s Considered Elective. But Hey — It’s Your Call,” ca. 1890
“I’m Considering Updating a Few of My Plays For Modern Audiences. Do You Guys Think I Should Start With ‘The Online Merchant of Venice’ or ‘The Real Merry Housewives of Windsor?,'” 1851