The New Testament – Page 2 – THAT IS PRICELESS

MASTERPIECE #553

Jacob Jordaens, Flemish

The Four Evangelists, None of Whom Remembered to Pay the Heating Bill Last Month, 1620

Oil on canvas

Hans Burgkmair the Elder, German

God Nailing John the Evangelist With His Super Soaker, 1518

Oil on fir

Domenico Ghirlandaio, Italian

Mary Punishing Maid for Making Eye Contact, 1491

Tempera on wood

Dieric Bouts, Netherlandish

Jesus Suddenly Remembering He’s Parked at a Meter, 1464

Oil on wood

Hieronymus Bosch, Dutch

John the Baptist in the Wilderness, Wishing He’d Brought His iPod, 1489

Oil on panel

Albrecht Altdorfer, German

Crowd Control at Jesus’ New Testament Book Signing, 1509

Oil on canvas

Masaccio, Italian

St. Peter Bombing at Open Mike Night, 1424

Oil on canvas

Abraham Bloemaert, Dutch

Apostles Making Picks for March Madness Office Pool, 1615

Oil on canvas

Masaccio, Italian

St. Peter Alerting Lunch Companion That He’s Forgotten His Pants, 1424

Fresco

Guercino Visione, Italian

Douchebag Blowing Trumpet at 4 in the Morning, 1629

Oil on canvas