“My Parents Are Spending a Fortune on Our Wedding, So They Don’t Want To Take Any Chances. But Right After the Ceremony, the Leg Irons Come Off. I Promise,” 1850
“Dearest Eric: Due To That Incident With the Cat, You Are Hereby Notified That You’ve Been Traded To the Millers For One Winter’s Worth of Firewood and a Plow Mule. You’ll Find Your Bags Packed Upstairs,” 1852