“Dearest Eric: Due To That Incident With the Cat, You Are Hereby Notified That You’ve Been Traded To the Millers For One Winter’s Worth of Firewood and a Plow Mule. You’ll Find Your Bags Packed Upstairs,” 1852
“Fred Murphy, Watkins & Associates. If You or a Loved One Falls Down and Goes Boom, You May Be Entitled To a Settlement. Just Call the Number on the Back of This Card,” 1884