“Dearest Eric: Due To That Incident With the Cat, You Are Hereby Notified That You’ve Been Traded To the Millers For One Winter’s Worth of Firewood and a Plow Mule. You’ll Find Your Bags Packed Upstairs,” 1852
“It’s Okay, Girls. But I Think We’ve All Learned a Lesson About Name-Calling Today. Where Did You Ever Hear of a Word Like ‘Feckless’ Anyway?,” Before 1886